Everything is relative or how a bag of crisps can be the best meal you’ve had all year.
Today marked my final full day of inpatient chemotherapy for my first cycle. Tomorrow I will only receive the dose that was missed on Tuesday and by the afternoon, I will be back home.
One tricky thing over the past few days has been to properly discern what is and what isn’t a chemo side effect. I did a lot of research before I started this and as a result, I am hyperaware of certain changes in particular.
Case in point: food. Yesterday I expressed some frustration over the repetitiveness of the meals. With that lingering at the back of my mind, I’ll admit waking up this morning and questioning whether I even wanted to eat much today at all.
Now, loss of appetite is a very common chemo side effect. So, was that it in my case? The answer came in the form of an absolutely delightful vegetarian quiche at lunchtime. It turns out, my appetite is still very much with me – I was simply craving different textures and flavours. This quiche was so tasty in fact that it alone has completely redeemed the hospital in terms of food again for me.
Alleviating a concern in this way can change the rest of your day in remarkable ways. My parents were coming to visit me in the afternoon and I had asked my mum to bring me a packet of simple paprica crisps.
And dear friends, I swear on all that anyone has ever considered of any value that this bogstandard bag of crisps was the most incredible, intense culinary experience I have had all year.
After a week of watching my body and everything that was happening like a hawk, fully aware that side effects may surface at any moment, here I was on my last full day not only eating these crisps, but still being able to taste them, to enjoy their texture, to revel in the almost insulting emptiness of their calories.
I do not expect this to go on like this, not in the slightest. But with chemotherapy, every single good day along your (in my case) 3 cycle journey is a WIN. The more you have, the less opportunities for bad ones.
I end this day without pain, fatigue, or nausea. My taste is still unchanged and my appetite remains high. I even feel energised and incredibly happy to go home tomorrow.
From the start, I told myself that the only way to approach something like this in a healthy manner is to take it day-by-day. Today was a fantastic day. And for now, that is all that matters.
Health and happiness to all of you, wherever you are – cheers!
just thoughts 